Friday, June 27

"Say Yes" By Michelle Williams - Destiny's Child Gospel (Music Video)

By April D. Byrd

So, DC3 made a bit of a gospel reunion, yes it's catchy as anything else. Well when you're a "Child of Destiny" who can stand in your way? Michelle Williams new song "Say Yes" featuring Beyonce Knowles and Kelly Rowland hit the web recently. 

At times with projects like this there can be a bit of cynicism, because whether you're christian or not, show business heads understand that there is a Christian Market...and it's a pretty big deal! At this time maybe we can look on the bright side and agree that THIS situation, is not that. The ladies of DC have a bit of a faith-based background together. Some songs from there premiere albums were gospel centric...and there was that whole Fighting Temptations stint.

Another praise worthy factor about the video besides the overall joyful feel of the song is...the actual visuals. It includes African (Judah) dancing. Authentic joyful praise dancing over a salacious Dirty Wind is good any day! We know even King David did a little "two step" now and then. There isn't too much to complain about with the visual. Check out the editing! It wasn't walking on egg-shells, but somebody knew how to limit some controversy! 

Well good job DC3! I Don't think Jesus will refute this one too much! Neither will I. 

"Say Yes" by Michelle Williams video (below):

What are your thoughts on the new collaboration? Did you Like it? Any Qualms about it? 

Keep up with the conversation on Trey Anthony's Fan Page.

Wednesday, June 25

Some End Of The School Year Thoughts

by Ajike Akande

Well folks, we survived.  This Thursday is the last day of school.  As we kick the school year to the curb, I’ve got three things I need to share.  
  1. I would be remiss if I didn’t send a little love to the Late Slip Lady given our history outlined here and here.  

Dear Late Slip Lady,
I am sorry about our daily lateness for the past few weeks.  It’s just that I feel no pressure at all to get the children to school on time anymore.  I refuse to fall for the principal’s claim that important learning takes place in the first ten minutes of the school day.  Let me remind you, I am a teacher; this is a lie.  In June, this is an outrageous, are-your-pants-actually-on-fire, lie!  The report cards have been written, signed and placed in manila envelopes.  The teachers are lovingly caring for their students and getting them to help tidy and pack up the classroom.  
This chill feeling about the morning school bell is precisely why the other day when a (killer) squirrel came into my house at 8:30 am, I was not at all worried about the time and getting the kids to school.  I hope that my neighbours also feel chill about not getting places on time because when I ran out of my house screaming for Wife, I also ran to the neighbour’s and asked that they come with a broom to help shoo the (killer) squirrel out of the house.  They were happy to help.  They are very neighbourly.  They may have regretted being so helpful when they realized that in rushing to my rescue, they locked themselves out of their house!  Ooops!  Sometimes there are downsides to being neighbourly!
Anyway, Late Slip Lady, as you can see that right until the bitter end, I have good excuses for our lateness.  I’ll miss you and I know that your summer will feel empty without the Silverman-Akande kids.  Perhaps you can get a job at their summer camps.  We will totally be late for camp too!  
Late Mommy

  1. I have a lucky bunch of school-agers.  While our kids are super challenging at home, they have captured the hearts of their teachers at school.  I know how fortunate we are.  There will be years when this won’t be the case.  There are kids for whom the end of a school year is a much-needed break from being misunderstood and poorly taught.  We will have years like that, I’m sure but we are so grateful that this year we got lucky.  On the first day of school I posted this on Facebook:

To my kids' teachers:
Today I am sending you three of my babies - two more than last September. Please know that they are not perfect. Oh no they are not! But they are perfectly precious. And they are my babies. And I know what it means to be in your shoes, so I know that it won't take long before they feel like your babies. I promise that I am sending you the best kids I've got. I am not leaving the "good" ones at home. 
I hope you have a wonderful day meeting all of your new school "babies". May there be at least one moment today that leaves you excited for tomorrow! 
Here is my end of the year message to their teachers:
To my kid’s teachers:

My kiddos are going to walk out of your room on the last day of school and they’ll say good-bye the same way they have all year.  They won’t stand on ceremony because it’s the last day of school.  They probably won’t hug you or say thank you or anything like that.  They have grown to take you for granted.  I know it’s not okay to take people for granted, and I wish they wouldn’t take you for granted but you’ve become a big part of their life.  They’ve grown close to you and have grown to trust you to love them.  It’s true.   They really believe that you love them because that’s how you’ve treated them.  They think you’ll always be there for them so there’s no need to make a big deal of saying good-bye.  The last minutes of the last day of school are surprisingly anticlimactic.  

I hope you have enjoyed your students as much as my kids have enjoyed you.  I hope you are as smart and right as they say you are about everything, because since you came on the scene in September, I’ve been wrong about almost everything!  

Thank you for making me feel good about sending my kiddos off to school every day!  


  1. I have a favour to ask all of you, particularly those of you who are in our lives or who are part of our Facebook or Twitter family (It scares me that I have a Twitter “family” and I truly do not at all understand Twitter).  Please do not brag about your wonderful magic moments with your children over the summer.   Don’t gloat about your camping trips and your 2-hour portages when even the youngest member of your family managed to pitch in.  Don’t post pictures of your hikes or trips to fantastic water parks and other special places that children seem to love.  This kind of show-offy behaviour just makes me feel bad.  Just because I have to take a few anti-anxiety pills and book a babysitter to allow for recovery time just to take our kids to the beach, 20 minutes away, does not mean they are not going to have a magical summer!  It’s just that when I am trying to ignore them and catch up with my peeps on Facebook, they gather around the computer and ask about all of these happy children in fantastic photos and then they want to know why we don’t do super fun things as a family.  It’s hard for them to understand that Mommy and Mama love them but they are truly out of control and therefore we avoid going out in public.  Clearly we hadn’t thought through how hard it would be to have so many children, so close in age!  So really, for the children, if you must have some kind of magical summer, could you just keep it to yourself?  

Alright, I’m glad I got all of this off my chest.  Bring on summer holidays (and the total lack of magical over-the-top experiences)!  
XO Ajike
Hope to avoid THIS next year!!

Friday, June 20

#SaveMeriam: Petition Created To Free Meriam Ibrahim

By April D. Byrd

Meriam Ibrahim and her newborn Daughter.

Sadly, a lot of popular media outlets right now are talking about a petition to comb a toddler's hair. The petition to Free Meriam Ibrahim and her two kids is much more worthy to be the center focus of mainstream media attention. 

A petition is circulating to the American government to  free  27-year-old Meriam Ibrahim. Meriam was convicted and given the death sentence in the Sudanese government which is primarily Islamic for refusing to renounce her Christian faith. She married her husband who is a Christian and U.S. citizen, and was recently  forced to give birth to their child in prison. This is the same prison known to have an infant mortality rate of one child per day.

The petition created is strongly urging the White House to take action in the case by charging the Sudanese government to release Meriam and her children so she can escape execution and the possible death of her children and be rejoined with her husband in the U.S. 

Websites are being created to rally citizens, and Non U.S. citizens to get involved and sign the petition. The situation is expressed further in the video (below):

Meriam Ibrahim has been sentenced to severe punishment for converting to Christian faith, but this issue goes beyond freedom of religion, and into the freedom of people, especially women having the ability to make their own decisions. 

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr said that "A threat to Justice Anywhere is a threat to Justice Everywhere". Desmond Tutu stated that "If You Are Neutral in situations of Injustice you are on the side of the oppressor". Use your Power to make a positive difference. If we don't exercise our political freedom, then it's subject to be weak, scrutinized, and taken advantage of. 

Please take action to help Free Meriam Ibrahim by clicking the link to the White House petition and making your signature count for her case and on behalf of her children.

#SaveMeriam White House Petition:

Learn more about how to help and get the latest updates at 

Wednesday, June 18

Radical Honesty and My Love For Wife

By: Ajike Akande

I’m considering getting a filter for my mouth. Sometimes, especially with those closest to me, I say too much. It’s like there is a select group of people with whom I practice radical honesty. It is possible that the radical honesty thing is something to which all involved parties should agree. Seriously folks, imagine what happens when one person is like “Hey, I’m going to tell you exactly what I think even when it makes you feel bad.” And then the other person is like, “Hey, why are you making me feel so bad? Don’t you know which thoughts need to remain just thoughts and never become spoken words?” Let me offer myself up as an example. This non-agreed upon radical honesty thing may be a seriously bad idea. Here’s why.

Wife is an incredibly loving, demonstrative, loyal partner. She will go out of her way, to lie and maybe cheat and steal to try to prevent me from feeling crappy because of something that she has said or done. By the way, the degree to which she tries to avoid causing upset has only a limited correlation to how frequently she is the trigger to my unhappiness or anger, but that’s not the point. Because of her great efforts to avoid causing me unhappiness she is profoundly distraught when she discovers she has done just that. I, on the other hand, accept that she will cause upset and heartache sometimes.

I’m not nearly as kind as Wife. I expect to upset her and anger her. We are married for crying out loud! We have shared a bed, a bathroom and a refrigerator for 10 years; of course I annoy her! I think that what annoys her most though, is my lack of mushiness and great pronouncements of love. I say I love you and stuff but I also say things like, “Fifty percent of marriages end in divorce and having multiples and children with special need increases the chances of this happening.” I also say things like, “I knew that we could have children together because if we had to parent them separately, not in a relationship with each other, we would still be a good parenting team.” (This, by the way, sounds like the nicest thing ever, given that I have said recently that we are the worst parenting team ever, citing our poorly behaved children as proof!). These comments above, do not, in my opinion, call my love into question; they simply highlight my belief that in love there should be radical (bordering on mean, if necessary) honesty! This belief is probably the thing that Wife hates most about me.

So with my radical honesty commitment in mind, I told her earlier today that I read this article in Huffington Post by Shanell Mouland titled, “Dear Husband, I Don’t Love You More Each Day. YES! THANK YOU! Finally, somebody challenges the ridiculous, hallmarky statement: “I love you more each day.” In the letter Mouland argues that what is more truthful, is that she understands her partner more every day. Yes, that is it.

I told Wife that I so agreed and that there is no way that I love her more each day. How can I? Has she seen our days? Our life is not good fertilizer for love. It’s good fertilizer for commitment, healthy codependency, even respect, but not romantic love. I just don’t feel the love growing. Look, I explained back in March in this post about meeting and falling in love with Wife, that I choose her and our relationship, consciously every day. It’s hard people! I totally love this smart, stinky (seriously the farts), intense, dedicated, stressed, funny, loving woman, but for the love of all things holy this is not exactly the season of our life together when the love is likely to grow!

So I leave you with the thought that I left with Wife when I was done telling her that Mouland’s letter is brilliant and that I don’t love her more each day, and she told me that she totally disagrees and thinks I mean: “Honey, it’s not like I’m saying that I love you LESS each day. That’d be mean. That would be taking radical honesty too far. I just don’t love you MORE. So friends, go ahead and tell someone that you pretty much love them the same as you did yesterday. The truth will set you free.

*** Please do not get the wrong idea from this post. I truly, truly love Wife! In fact, if you must know, while this may not be the perfect season for growing love, it does seem to be the perfect season for expressing all the love that I do have for her (wink, wink).

XO Ajike

Friday, June 13

Da' Kink Is Headed For Texas

Angie Stone, source from 'Da Kink In My Hair

Yep! Da Kink In My Hair is headed for the Lone Star State! 

Excited that some of the original womyn from 'da Kink, Ngozi Paul Jen Neales  and Ordena Stephens will be joining me in Texas to present excerpts from 'da Kink in my hair, at Devacurl's Curls Night Out, as part of a national tour. Very excited. Texas come out and show us some love!!!!  The Event will be happening Wednesday June 18th! 

Curls Night Out, is a nationwide tour kicking off 7 p.m. June 17th at the Liberty Theater in Tyler, Texas. The night will combine entertainment, inspiration and education, featuring curly celebrities, stylists and curlies.

For More Information check out 'DA KINK JOINS DEVA'S CURLS NIGHT OUT on's website. 

If you want to know a woman, touch her hair. That's where she keeps all her hurts, all her joy, all her pain, all her life.
'da Kink in My Hair

Special Thank You to DevaCurls! Hope to see all you there!

Wednesday, June 11

This Is What It LOOKS Like

Have you seen the blog Illustrated With Crappy Pictures?  It’s written by a mom who shares stories about her life, illustrated with cute pictures.  It’s pretty cool.  After writing my post last week – My Day By The Numbers, I thought I’d try sharing one day in pictures – with remarkably rich commentary, obviously.  So here it is…my day as a stay-at-home mom of five kiddos.
“Good morning Suckers!”  That’s how raccoons refer to us humans with the tasty garbage.  But answer me this, if they have such handy prehensile hands and feet why don’t they be a little tidier when eating?  Dumping the contents of the compost bin all over the walkway is just rude!  
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Sometimes your grumpiest, most likely to explode child asks to ride scooters to school.  Sometimes when you are a little bit (actually a lot) afraid of said child, you say yes to avoid any upset.  Sometimes when you have an inconsistent relationship with reality, you agree to escort five children, all on scooters, to the not-so-nearby school.  Sometimes because experience is the greatest teacher, you are smart enough to take a trailer/stroller along to carry backpacks and possible small humans who have grown weary of their scooter.
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See?  Experience.  On the way back from school drop-off I had five scooters and 3 children in and on the trailer.  It was totally easy to push.  
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You wouldn’t know it from the picture, but eating is mostly what my kids do at the park.  Eating is how they acclimatize to a new setting.  It’s also how they evaluate their setting throughout their stay.  Finally, in preparation for leaving any setting at all, they must enjoy a few final nibbles – strength for the journey of course.  

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By the time I indulged in a little selfie action on the way to the school for a 3 pm pick-up, I had been run ragged by my 2 year olds, dealt with Wife’s dead battery (in her car, people!  Sheesh!), driven to and waited at the mechanics and run home to pack up snacks (for crying out loud the bloody snacks) to feed the kids upon their arrival at gymnastics.  A parent can feel a little sluggish after such a day, (which was not anywhere close to being done).  What to do?  Red lipstick and sunglasses obviously.  If my children are going to zap me of all my energy, I am going to look fierce while they’re doing it!
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Thank the heavens and Wife’s pay cheque that we have a loving and frighteningly energetic caregiver who is able to do so much that I cannot, including, but not limited to entertaining the children and preparing dinner at the same time.  With me you get one or the other, never both, and as a favour to my family, never dinner.  Anyway, so Tita Liza happily welcomed the girls and I home after gymnastics with dinner ready!  Wahoo!  And even though Liza thinks I’m edging towards totally ridiculous, she helps the kids choose and put on their tomorrow clothes before dinner.  (Pajamas are for regular sized families, without multiples.  We go from today clothes to tomorrow clothes and embrace any wrinkles that come from sleeping in one’s clothes.  This tomorrow clothes business is totally optional for the adults in the family.)
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Eating one of his favouite meals is hard for Mr. Lee.  Asking for seconds and being given not one but two plates holding the desired spatatoes (sweet potatoes) is really, really hard.  
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Given Mr. Lee’s extreme crying, I chose to focus on happier members of the Silverman-Akande crew.  
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I’m not saying this is the right answer for everyone.  And I’m not saying that I am proud that this is the right answer for me, but seriously, alcohol – don’t parent after 5 pm without it.  
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That’s Z under his cap with the humungous, unbendable brim.  He is our resident bug collector.  He may or may not respond to directions when he is working hard as an entomologist.  This makes me feel both proud and profoundly irritated.  Interestingly, I feel these same emotions when he leaves a jar full of bugs inside the house.  

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I am not the only parent in our family who makes decisions based on hope rather than reality.  Wife decided after dinner at 7pm she would do a little gardening and scootering with the kids (and our provincial election candidate Jonah Schein).
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Not surprisingly Wife and I divide and conquer at bedtime.  She does The Middles and The Big and I do The Littles.  Wife is a little show-offy about bedtime because she seems to get her kids (except Z) tucked in around the time I manage to get mine to head upstairs.  Please note that while bedtime efficiency is not my strength, I am kinda the best at all other things!
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Occasionally my lovelies allow me to choose their bedtime story. When they do, I use the opportunity to select books that promote love, kindness and gratefulness.  We have a basket of “character development” books.  The children rarely independently select books from this basket.  Does this mean that they are making a deliberate effort to not develop a positive character?!?  
I’m really not good at putting the kids to bed.  Is this the face of a child who plans on staying in his bed and going to sleep before 9pm?  No!  No, it is not!  
Eventually Wife took over with Mr. Lee and read with Z so I could go and pick up our reward for surviving another day – burgers!  There is a lot of take-out in our lives.  We think of take-out the same way we think about alcohol.  Please don’t judge us.  
At some point we finished all the prep for the next day and got down to the task of eating and watching Netflix.  I cannot believe that people used to parent without Netflix.  That just wouldn’t work for me.  
So that’s my day illustrated with mediocre pictures I took with my phone.  It has occurred to me that I can be a lot more present with my children when I am not thinking about documenting every moment, but honestly, it’s a teeny bit more fun to be not so much a participant in the crazy, but a documenter of it!  
XO Ajike

Friday, June 6

#OITNB Returns, Laverne Cox Gets Shade


Orange Is The New Black returns to Netflix today and Fans are rejoicing everywhere!! The shows come back has been extremely anticipated. We'd like to think everyone would be happy, but Writer Kevin D. Williamson has a little salt. Why all the shade?? A star of the show and LGBTQ Activist Laverne Cox has been adamantly making the rounds. Even landing on the cover of TIME Magazine. After an Interview with Katie Couric However, the Writer went in on Cox, critiquing the stars refusal to answer the question on whether or not "surgical alteration" had been performed. Williamson cited the issue within a much longer rant titled "Laverne Cox Is Not A Woman" in the National Review. The Piece was also ran in the Chicago Sun-Times, but later retracted for not being aligned with the consistency of Sun-Times publishing standards.

Cox talent, and work on Orange Is The New Black is fierce, that's the tidbit that can't be denied! The Show's Script is Written by Jenji Kohan, the Writer and Producer from Weeds. We can all agree Jenji is winning. If Orange Is The New Black's success can be measured with prime time ratings, it will definitely be on top. Based on the Journey and True Story of Piper Kerman's experience in being credibly..."About That Life" it's one of the most provocative and poignant shows around.

An even better plus is that The Amazing Lorraine Toussaint will be joining the cast. Toussaint is playing Vee, who is old friends with the O.G. of the show, Red. Let's just take it some real sh*t is about to go down when you get two O.G.s in the same spot.

Who's story will be revealed next?! The long Wait is over, OITNB is back, and it's Friday! Forget All the other Drama and spin on that!!

What are your thought's on Williamson's post? Leave your comment below and follow up with us at Trey Anthony's Fanpage. Let's Talk About It! 

-April D. Byrd is a Writer for Trey Anthony Studios. Find her  on Twitter @aprilinspired

Wednesday, June 4

My Day By The Numbers

by Ajike Akande

When one does the same thing day in and day out, one is bound to wonder how many times one says and does particular things. I decided to keep track for a day and here’s what I came up with.
  • 7 – the number of bowls of cereal I prepared last night (and every night) for the morning. Z & G-Dog always have two bowls.

  • 2.5 cups – the amount of rice milk wasted this morning, which may explain…

  • 4 – the average number of cartons of Rice Milk the children consume every week.

  • 1 – the number of bowls of cereal F-Jammie wasted this morning (and every morning) because “It’s soggy, Mommy!”

  • 7 – the number of times I threatened to take breakfast away from the next person who got up from the table.

  • 7 – the number of times I made empty threats undoubtedly contributing to my children’s awful habit of ignoring much of what I say.

  • 3 – the number of times this morning Z yelled for me because F-Jammie & Mr. Lee were up to trouble
  1. Mr. Lee was trying to shave his arms with my razor. Thank God he was unable to remove the protective cover.
  2. F-Jammie got her hands on the milk and was seeing how much all the bowls could hold.
  3. Mr. Lee was drumming on a stool with crayons. This concerned Z only because it was loud and he could hear the TV. It concerned me because the stool is now brown speckled.

  • 2 – The number of times I kindly asked Z & G-Dog to watch their brother

  • 1 – the number of times I yelled, “I thought I said WATCH your brother!”

  • 0 – the number of times I apologized for being a totally unreasonable mother that expect the older children to watch their impulsive, wild, little brother.

  • 1 – the number of times I licked my thumb and wiped the gunk off of Z’s face.

  • 1 – the number of times I called out to Z, as he was walking into school, telling him to lick his finger and wipe off the gunk under his nose.

  • 1 – the number of times I wondered if I am the most embarrassing mother ever.

  • 2 – the number of Egg McMuffins I inhaled this morning on the way to the drop-in centre.

  • Infinite – the amount of guilt I feel for still eating at McDonalds.

  • Infinite – the amount of relief that I feel that my standards for what I put in my body versus what I put in the bodies of my children
  • 1 – the number of times I made somebody’s jaw drop when I said that I have five kids including two sets of twins.

  • 3 – the number of times I noted out loud that F-Jammie & Mr. Lee were playing really nicely on their own.

  • 10 (at least) – the number of times I wondered if them playing nicely without my interference is an indication that they’re ready to spend their days away from me (their mother who has put her career on hold to be with her children).

  • 5 – the number of times I said, “Okay, it’s time to go” before ending my conversation with another adult and making a move to leave.

  • 3 – the number of times I pretended that I didn’t hear F-Jammie asking me for lunch. (Every single day with this “feed me” stuff!)

  • the number of times I looked in the fridge, saw wine and wondered if it was too early to have some.

  • 20 (at least) – the number of times I called one of my small humans “monkey” or “baba”

  • 5 (at least) – the number of times I said, “I love you!” and “Who loves you?”